Saturday, May 15, 2010

Finally, Kokuyo replacements! And MORE kits!

Wow, what a week!  We've discovered and gotten THE adhesive that will make former Kokuyo-addicts THRILLED, and I've been busy putting together more kits.  Hopefully we can get them on the webstore sometime this weekend.  Our goals are to: 1) Teach different techniques with each kit, and 2) Provide different types of products to work with.  This way, you can determine which techniques and products you like, and which ones you don't feel "fit" with your style of crafting.  If you have a specific technique you want to learn or product you want to try out (in kit form), please email me and let me know what it is.  I'll do my best to put together a kit for you and, if necessary, prepare one customized JUST FOR YOU!!!

A lot of you may remember I owned a transcription company for about 25 years prior to opening our stores.  We mainly transcribed medical and legal documents, and my mother was my business partner.  She is still a transcriptionist, and sent me an absolute gem yesterday, which she received through her email.  As you know, in any business, there are exchanges between different parties involved that are sometimes extremely hilarious when you take a closer look.  And then there are those that you don't need to look at closely, because it just kind of slaps you in the face.  The following are supposedly excerpts taken from actual legal cases in a real courtroom.  So, if you want a really good laugh, take a bathroom break (trust me on this!) and then come back and read below. 
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:  He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?
ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:  My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY:  This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:  I forget.
ATTORNEY:  You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY:  ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:  He's twenty, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:  Are you sh**ting me?
ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:  Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY:  How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:  By death.
ATTORNEY:  And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:  Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:  No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY:  So the date of conception (of the baby) was February 1st?
ATTORNEY:  And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:  Getting laid.
ATTORNEY:  She had several children, right?
ATTORNEY:  How many were boys?
ATTORNEY:  Were there any girls?
WITNESS:  Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:  He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:  Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:  Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY:  Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:  Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY:  Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:  All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:  The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY:  And Mr. X was dead at the time?
WITNESS:  If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:  Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as my mom and I did!

Until next time, happy scrapping and stamping!


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