Saturday, May 15, 2010

Finally, Kokuyo replacements! And MORE kits!

Wow, what a week!  We've discovered and gotten THE adhesive that will make former Kokuyo-addicts THRILLED, and I've been busy putting together more kits.  Hopefully we can get them on the webstore sometime this weekend.  Our goals are to: 1) Teach different techniques with each kit, and 2) Provide different types of products to work with.  This way, you can determine which techniques and products you like, and which ones you don't feel "fit" with your style of crafting.  If you have a specific technique you want to learn or product you want to try out (in kit form), please email me and let me know what it is.  I'll do my best to put together a kit for you and, if necessary, prepare one customized JUST FOR YOU!!!

A lot of you may remember I owned a transcription company for about 25 years prior to opening our stores.  We mainly transcribed medical and legal documents, and my mother was my business partner.  She is still a transcriptionist, and sent me an absolute gem yesterday, which she received through her email.  As you know, in any business, there are exchanges between different parties involved that are sometimes extremely hilarious when you take a closer look.  And then there are those that you don't need to look at closely, because it just kind of slaps you in the face.  The following are supposedly excerpts taken from actual legal cases in a real courtroom.  So, if you want a really good laugh, take a bathroom break (trust me on this!) and then come back and read below. 
----
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:  He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?
ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:  My name is Susan!
----
ATTORNEY:  This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:  Yes.
ATTORNEY:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:  I forget.
ATTORNEY:  You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
----
ATTORNEY:  ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:  Oral.
----
ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:  He's twenty, much like your IQ.
----
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:  Are you sh**ting me?
----
ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:  Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
----
ATTORNEY:  How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:  By death.
ATTORNEY:  And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:  Take a guess.
----
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:  No, I just lie there.
----
ATTORNEY:  So the date of conception (of the baby) was February 1st?
WITNESS:  Yes.
ATTORNEY:  And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:  Getting laid.
----
ATTORNEY:  She had several children, right?
WITNESS:  Yes.
ATTORNEY:  How many were boys?
WITNESS:  None.
ATTORNEY:  Were there any girls?
WITNESS:  Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
----
ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:  He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:  Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male.
----
ATTORNEY:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:  Are you qualified to ask that question?
----
ATTORNEY:  Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:  Did you actually pass the bar exam?
----
ATTORNEY:  Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:  All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
----
ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:  The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY:  And Mr. X was dead at the time?
WITNESS:  If not, he was by the time I finished.
----
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:  Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
----

I hope you enjoyed this as much as my mom and I did!

Until next time, happy scrapping and stamping!

Dee

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Kits on Webstore / Update on Donna / Ham Lasagna

Well, today I finally got one of the Disney kits up on the webstore ( http://scrapbook-store-scrappersaurus.com/didolaandbom.html ) that our very own Design Team Member Heather Landry created.  We have several kits left over from some of the great workshops we had done in the stores, and I'm trying to re-write the instructions and put pics so I can sell them as kits now.  I chose to put the Disney double-page 12x12 layout kit up first because, well, its DISNEY!!! LOL!!!  Lots of people are planning their summer vacations to Disney already, and this layout and mini album kit will give them a good start on scrapping their trip.  Next, I think I'll put up some of the unclaimed Layout of the Month kits.  I know, it's hard to believe there are actually any left, especially since so many people who were NOT members would routinely ask after the kits were sent out "just in case" there were any "left over"...  Then I plan on putting up kits using the embossing pastes (by special request!).  I'm including just about all materials needed to finish the kits, and all you would need to have is your adhesive and tools.  Complete written instructions and photos of finished samples are included to help guide you.

Also, I want to update everybody who has been praying for my friend, Donna.  For those of you who were unaware, Donna has been my best friend for 19 years, and she was recently told her heart simply was not capable of doing the job it needed to in order to keep her alive, and she needed a heart transplant.  They told her there was nothing else they could do for her.  She even traveled a whole day to visit a special advanced cardiac clinic in another state, only to find they couldn't help her, either.  Then she was told she didn't qualify for a heart transplant because her body mass index was (minutely!) higher than they allow.  I cried a lot, and thought a lot about what I could do for my friend.  All I COULD do, was to pray, and to get as many people as possible to pray with me for her.  So, that's what I did.  I sent out emails to relatives, other friends, customers, and even manufacturers--anyone and everyone that I thought MIGHT pray for her.  I asked that she be put on prayer chains and have candles lit.  I am EXTREMELY happy to let you all know that YOUR PRAYERS ARE WORKING!!!  She called and told me that she went to another doctor and was told she didn't NEED a heart transplant, and that although she had serious cardiac issues, he believed that he could help her rehabilitate herself back to a healthy condition.  He put her on a special diet (for better cardiac health, not for weight-loss) and told her how to exercise daily, among other things.  She went from not being able to shower and dress herself to being able to walk several blocks at a time now!!!  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU all of you that prayed for her!!!  PLEASE KEEP PRAYING for her, because she's still not out of the woods.  I will keep you all updated.

Oh, and to all of you who laughed when I said I was going to make a ham lasagna--IT ROCKS!!!  Felix told me he loved it better than "regular" lasagna!!!  I was amazed!!!  I went online and did a search for recipes, then kind of did what I always do--I combine them in my own way, and make my own version.  Well, this one was definitely a winner!  Email me if you want MY recipe.

Until next time, happy scrapping and stamping!

Dee